How often have you heard someone say "I'll never be able to pardon myself for what I've done?" Perhaps you are even guilty of sayimg those very words. Forgiveness can be a awfully difficult thing to offer another person who has offended or hurt you, but forgiving ourselves seems to be tougher still. There appears to be a tendency to hold ourselves much more accountable than we hold others for the very same offense.
I wonder why? One explanation is pride. While that may seem to be a contradiction, it's truly not. Whenever we impose a different set of rules, or reguire a higher standards for ourselves over others, that is pride. When we can find it within our self to excuse others, although not ourselves, we are saying is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are saying that we believe our self to be more discerning, sensible, more judicious and more careful than other individuals, and therefore, we have no excuse for our actions and should not excuse ourselves. When God Himself, offers to pardon the transgressions of all who seek His clemency yet we refuse to excuse ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, is simply pride.
So how do you pardon one's self? Straightforward, in the same way you might pardon someone else. The elements are the same.
First, one must seek forgiveness from Our Lord God for all wrong doing ultimately is against God. King David reminded us when he sought for forgiveness for sleeping with a woman who was married. He then made things worse when he had her husband sent to the front lines of battle where he knew he'd be slain in battle. In Psalm 51:3 and 4, he cries out to God and says, "For I know my sins, and my transgression is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight."
God is prepared and waiting to pardon your transgressions and then, He promises to never remember your sin.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to pardon us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The following step is to recollect that forgiveness is a choice, it is not a feeling. Just like you must opt to pardon someone, (not just try and feel better about them or what they went and did) you have to decide to pardon yourself.
Secondly, it is extremely important to understand that forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing the action for someone else, or yourself. That is what is so powerful about forgiveness. It's choosing to pardon despite the wrong or dreadful actions taken against you or by you. It also suggests not dwelling on it any more or talking about it again in any farther conversation, with others, or yourself.
When absolute forgiveness happens, it means taking pity on the one who harmed you and understanding that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself shows you are taking pity on yourself, as much as you would anybody else. Together with that, goes recognizing and acknowledging your need for grace. Do not be tough on yourself. You're a human being with short comings and issues and a great capacity for making mistakes. Accept responsibility for the injustices you have done, receive your Heavenly Father’s forgiveness and then show forgiveness to yourself.
If, your Heavenly Father in all His greatness and power readily extends forgiveness when you ask, who are you not to do the same for yourself?
How To Forgive Yourself
To learn more about having an intimate relationship with God and discovering His love that will that will lead you to a life of freedom click on: How To Forgive Yourself
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