We have heard the saying numerous occasions that, "It's simpler to forgive than to forget," but the fact is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive. Forgiveness is the act of excusing an individual for their wrongdoing but unless you are also willing to forget their misdeed you aren't actually forgiving them. Refusing to forget a wrong activity against you bring a lingering grudge between you and the other individual. This is important if you want to learn how to save a marriage now.
Although you may have told them that you have forgiven them, the memory of their actions remains with you and creates a prejudice towards them that results in a lack of trust in the future. True forgiveness involves both forgiving and forgetting and this can be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person who wronged you, expressing your feelings in a rational matter, realizing that your relationship is more important than being right and finally accepting your partner’s apology.
You may have been wronged in a situation and your feelings of anger may be completely justified but it’s important to truly understand your feelings in order to forgive and forget. There are many ways to save a marriage but it is imperative that you realize that the actions of the other person may have hurt you or made you angry but that reacting in a hostile manner as a result of these feelings is not beneficial to your relationship.
Whilst your feelings of hurt of anger may be rationalized, taking the time to work through these emotions before granting forgiveness will help you to forget your lover's words or actions. When you rush to offer forgiveness before you have had the chance to vent your own frustrations it will be confusing for you to forget your better half's offense. You also need to understand the feelings of the person who upset you. It is also essential to speak to your partner about why they committed the offense against you. It is not fair to them to make assumptions about why they performed the way they did.
Working with your own emotions in a calm and logical process is also critical to forgiving and forgetting. Your companion may be wrong and you may be absolutely justified in your feelings of anger but it's vital that you not act purely on emotion in this case. Acting and speaking out of anger can elevate the strain in the situation and discourage the forgiveness process. Grant yourself a brief time to manage your own feelings and gather your thoughts so that when you approach your companion you are able to speak about your emotions in a realistic process. It's best to wait until both you and your other half are ready to speak about the conflict in a calm and logical manner.
If you are absolutely interested in some marriage help recommendations and about forgiving and forgetting when you have been offended, wait until both parties have calmed down to be certain that neither one speaks out of anger and demolishes the chance for authentic forgiveness.
A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you value being right in an argument. While you may be completely right in a situation, being right is not worth destroying the relationship over. If you are able to put your love for your partner ahead of the vindication of being right you will be more willing to forgive and forget. Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue to flourish because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger.
Finally you can never really forgive and forget unless you are truly willing to accept your partner’s apology. Harboring feelings that the apology isn’t genuine will damage the relationship because you will never forget their offending action. Listen sincerely to your partner’s apology and have faith in them that there apology is heartfelt and genuine. Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation interfere with your future interactions.
Friday, December 2, 2011
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