How many times have you heard the statement "I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I've done?" Maybe you are even guilty of making that statement yourself. Forgiveness can be a very hard thing to offer another who has offended or hurt you, but forgiving ourselves appears to be even tougher. There appears to be a tendency to hold ourselves far more responsible than we hold others for the same wrong doing.
I wonder why? One reason is pride. While that may appear to be a contradiction, it's truly not. Whenever we enforce a different set of rules, or reguire a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is pride. When we can find it inside our self to forgive others, though not ourselves, what we are in effect exclaiming is that we are less capable of making a poor call than others. We are saying that we think our self to be more discerning, reasonable, more judicious and more careful than other individuals, and therefore, we have no excuse for doing what we did and shouldn't pardon ourselves. When God Himself, offers to pardon the sins of anyone who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to forgive ourselves, we are lifting ourselves above others and that, is simply pride.
So how do you pardon one's self? Simple, in the same way you'd pardon someone else. The guidelines are the same.
First, one must seek the forgiveness of Our Lord God for all wrong doing is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought for compassion for sleeping with a woman who was married. He then made things worse when he had her husband sent to the front lines of battle where he knew he'd be killed. In Psalm 51:3 and 4, he cries out to God and says, "For I know my sins, and my transgression is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight."
God is ready and waiting to forgive your transgressions and then, He guarantees to remember it no more.
I John one:nine "If we confess our sin, He is trustworthy and just to pardon us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The next step is to remember that to forgive is your choice, not a feeling. Just like you should choose to forgive somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they went and did) you should opt to forgive yourself.
Next, it's essential to understand that to forgive does not necessarily mean excusing the action for someone else, or yourself. That's what is so strong about forgiveness. It's selecting to pardon despite the incorrect or horrible actions taken against you or by you. It also means not dwelling on it any more or talking about it again in any further conversation, with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness occurs, it means taking pity on that person and understanding that they want grace as much as you need grace. Forgiving yourself shows you are taking pity on yourself, as much as you would anybody else. Along with that, goes recognizing and acknowledging your desire for grace. Do not be hard on yourself. You're a human with weakness and failings and a great ability for messing up. Take accountability for the wrongs you've caused, receive God's forgiveness and then show mercy to yourself.
If, your Father in all His wonderfulness and power readily extends compassion to you when you ask, who are you not to do the same for yourself?
How To Forgive Yourself
To find out more about pursing an intimate relationship with God and experiencing His love that will truly set you free go to: How To Forgive Yourself
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